What No One Will Tell You About Trauma

Okay, so what happens once you’ve climbed Mount Everest? Olympic athletes often talk about how they go into a depression after they’re done with grueling training and competing for some of the most important events of their life. It’s not as simple as I’m making it out to be here, but the connection I’m trying to make is clear. Healing from trauma can be hard; it can be all-encompassing and pave the road ahead as we start to heal.

Initially, we try to figure out what happened to us. For some of you, it’s about naming it: *Yes, it was trauma.* For others, it’s about getting help. What I’m saying is that each of us has a shove-off point on this journey, and that journey can feel as open and vast as the sea’s horizon. As we jump through all the hoops—maybe finding the right therapist, learning the right tools, and establishing routines—we often hit a place that I feel we don’t talk about enough.

The Identity Crisis Post-Healing

The other part I want to discuss is what happens once the “training is done.” We spend so much time surviving, doing the work, getting stable, taking those smalls steps, riding those breakthroughs, making connections, and making changes, that it can define our lives for quite a bit. But once the intensity of survivorship settles, many people are left with this question: *Who am I now?*

After climbing the highest peak, people expect a feeling of triumph, but many describe a profound sense of loss. It’s like you’ve been on a quest for so long that the question “what now?” hits you hard. This isn’t just an Olympic athlete problem—it’s deeply personal and relatable for anyone who’s overcome something monumental. Trauma healing feels like a survival mission, and for a long time, it consumes you. But once you’ve navigated those early stages—naming the trauma, finding the right therapist, doing the work—you arrive at a new challenge. The world has been shaped by your trauma, but now you need to reshape yourself. *Who are you without that survival identity?* This is where so many feel lost.

While feeling traumatized can be so complicated and painful, it also gives us a clear mission: *heal*. I’m not saying we reach a finish line in healing, but for many people, the intensity of survivorship will settle. This can lead to a kind of existential identity crisis. It can be really scary to feel like you have to build a new reality. With many of my clients, this is part of the work and part of the discussion very early on: *Who are you now?*

Rebuilding and Reclaiming Your Identity

It’s natural to feel disoriented after you’ve done so much healing. You’ve spent so long identifying with your trauma that stepping into a life without that constant struggle can feel like standing in front of a blank canvas with no idea what to paint. But this moment, though scary, is full of possibility. You’re no longer defined by what happened to you—you’re free to decide who you want to be.

The challenge now becomes building a new identity—one that isn’t based solely on survival, but on growth, strength, and possibility. Yes, the climb is over, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck on the mountain forever. This is the moment where you get to choose your path, and that’s a powerful thing.

What’s Next? Getting Curious About Who You Are
When you reach this place of questioning, it’s time to get curious. Start small. Ask yourself: – What do I enjoy now that I didn’t before?
– What values do I want to live by?
– What strengths have I gained through this journey?
-What does self care really look like?

You’ll be surprised at what comes up when you approach this phase with curiosity rather than fear. The healing process may not have a finish line, but every step forward in this new chapter is an opportunity to shape the person you want to become.

You’ve Climbed the Mountain, Now What?

Yes, the climb is over, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck on the mountain forever. This is the moment where you get to choose your path, and that’s a powerful thing. You’ve come so far, and now, with every new step, you’re building something beautiful—your life, your identity, your future.