Building Safety Before Reprocessing: The AF-EMDR Approach

Why Safety Comes First

When clients come to therapy with trauma, it might seem logical to quickly jump to the part where we help them “process it.” If this resonates with you, that makes perfect sense: trauma can feel urgent, overwhelming, and persistent.But in trauma-informed therapy, especially Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR), safety and stabilization always come first. That’s because if we don’t create a solid foundation, diving straight into painful memories can be retraumatizing rather than healing.

AF-EMDR is specifically designed to not just reprocess traumatic memories but to also help clients build internal resources, develop trust, and cultivate a sense of safety within themselves and inside relationships. This is called Resourcing. 

The Cardinal Rule: Resourcing Before Reprocessing

One of the defining features of AF-EMDR is “resourcing”: the practice of helping clients strengthen their emotional, relational, and somatic capacities before tackling trauma directly. Resourcing might look like: 

• Mindfulness and grounding work

• Somatic awareness practices and tracking bodily sensations

• Connecting with and nurturing the inner-child 

• Developing safe space visualizations

The goal is to equip clients with tools to manage distress, stay regulated, and feel supported during sessions. When our clients have these resources in place, reprocessing trauma becomes not just safer but more effective, too. 

Stabilization

AF-EMDR emphasizes slower, gentler pacing, so therapists do not push clients to confront their most traumatic experiences right away. Instead, the process usually starts with exploring things like: 

• How trauma has shaped beliefs and self-perception

• Survival strategies that have served the client

• Patterns in relationships and attachment style

This prep work allows clients to approach their trauma from a place of stability and empowerment rather than fear and shame. Preparing in advance also sets the client up for long-lasting healing instead of only temporary relief. 

Attachment

Trauma is rarely just an event. It happens inside relationships with family, peers, and partners. AF-EMDR acknowledges that many traumas are attachment wounds: experiences where a person felt unsafe, unseen, or unsupported. In sessions, this might look like: 

• Emphasizing repairing relationships and connections

• Helping clients feel seen, validated, and held within your relationship with them

• Integrating attachment work into trauma reprocessin

By addressing both the traumatic memory and the relationship context in which it occurred, AF-EMDR helps clients rebuild trust in themselves and with others, leaving them with a foundation for healthier relationships going forward. 

What Do AF-EMDR Sessions Look Like? 

AF-EMDR sessions often incorporate the following practices: 

1. Assessment and resourcing: identifying the client’s current state, coping mechanisms, and resources

2. Stabilization: teaching clients grounding, visualization, and body-awareness to use when emotions become overwhelming

3. Target Mapping: exploring memories with a focus on attachment and relationships

4. Bilateral Stimulation: using alternating left-right eye movements, tapping, or other cues to process memories

5. Integration: closing the session with self-soothing techniques, reflection, and acknowledgement of new beliefs or perspectives

In all cases, the client maintains control over the pace and depth of the work in any given session. This control is crucial in recovering from relational trauma. 

Benefits of AF-EMDR

Many clients who experienced complex trauma or childhood attachment wounds struggle with traditional, single-event-focused EMDR treatment. Without providing safety and stabilization first, the reprocessing experience can be overwhelming or even retraumatizing. AF-EMDR removes these risks by: 

1. Prioritizing safety prior to reprocessing

2. Acknowledging attachment patterns that contribute to the trauma and working on them

3. Focusing on resources and skills that help clients to help themselves when they are feeling dysregulated

4. Creating a safe environment and therapeutic relationship where healing can take place

With these pillars in place, healing feels tolerable, sustainable, and even transformative. 

Healing at Your Own Pace

Trauma isn’t a race. In AF-EMDR, the emphasis is on going at a pace the client can tolerate, building up their skill bank, and creating safety before approaching painful memories. This approach honors the complexity of trauma, respects the client’s experience, and maximizing long-term healing. 

If you’re interested in exploring AF-EMDR for yourself or in your practice:

Clients - consider scheduling a consultation to explore if AF-EMDR is right for your needs

Therapists - training and consultation opportunities are available for those looking to integrate AF-EMDR into their work

Visit the Contact page above to schedule a consult as a client or as a colleague.

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